Do you often see yourself grabbing your phone every 10 or 15 minutes to open your social media apps, write new posts, share photos or simply browse and check your newsfeeds for updates from your so-called “friends”? If so, you might be one of the following:

1. Stalkers

stalking

Stalkers use their social media accounts to follow the online actions of another user. This action may include excessive viewing of a certain user’s profile and pictures, as well as repeatedly messaging or posting comments to another Facebook user.

Madalas, sila yung mga naging ex mo o yung mga taong may matinding pagnanasa sa yo (in a romantic or sexual manner). Sila yung may mga low self-esteem at sila yung hindi sanay sa mga confrontational situations. Sila rin yung mga tipo na laging may self-pity and tell themselves they’re not good enough for anything. Hence, they rather spend most of their time admiring you online – particularly by monitoring your activities and liking and commenting on your Facebook posts because these are the closest things they can ever do para ma-feel nila na malapit sila sa inyo.

I once stalked on one of my ex-boyfriends. I remember, kakahiwalay lang namin noon. Hindi third party ang reason ng paghihiwalay namin. I was so devastated and broken that I wanted to see how he was doing and coping. Does our breakup affect him terribly? Is he already dating somebody else? Is he with somebody else now? Ito ang mga questions that made me crazy after our breakup. The stalking lasted for two weeks. Actually, it lasted after my ex made all his social media posts private. I didn’t want to create fake accounts to befriend and follow him and his activities online. That was already too much for me. Kaya after kong mauntog (figuratively), I embraced the fact na wala na kami ng boyfriend ko. So I moved on.

2. Lurkers

lurking

They are the type who would say that they know all about your family vacation even though you haven’t discussed it with them and that they never make a peek on your social media accounts.

Kung noong election season, nauso ang term na “silent majority”, lurkers are like them. Sila yung tipo na mas preferred ang maging behind the scenes sa Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Nag-eenjoy sila sa pagtingin at pagbasa sa mga posts mula sa ibang tao pero hindi naman mahilig mag-Like or mag-comment sa mga ito. Wala lang, audience lang ang peg nila.

Just recently, I noticed myself slowly becoming a Facebook lurker. Kakagaling ko lang kasi sa isang “crisis” sa buhay ko and told myself na I’ll take things slowly while I try to figure out what my next plans are. Unfortunately, napansin ko na dahil may trauma na nangyari brought about by the recent incident, I tend to procrastinate and delay doing the more important things in my life. Madalas hawak ko ang phone ko at dahil I already deleted the gay-dating apps in my phone, I spend more time simply browsing through my Facebook newsfeeds. And I literally spend at least an hour reading posts and comments mostly from random users and watch different viral videos. This dilemma is actually the main inspiration I am writing this article. Facebook lurking felt like a disorder kaya I read some psychological studies and researches about this matter.

3. Enviers

envying

These refer to users mainly envying happiness of others – like the way others spend their vacations.

From the term itself, sila ang mga inggitero at inggitera sa social media. These people intentionally post random stuff on their profile like the expensive meals they had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sila rin yung mga tipo who are fond of announcing to the world of their whereabouts and travel escapades – yung tipong gustong maging easy target for kidnap-for-ransom groups. Why do they do these stuff? I guess because masyado silang naiinggit sa mga nakikita nila from their friends to the point that they wanted to show the world na they are doing better than their Facebook friends.

Social media envy is a real phenomenon and most users are experiencing this since as far back as 2012. There were studies already made by both clinical and social psychologist abroad. I tried to search for such studies conducted among and for Filipinos but I didn’t find any.

References:
Envy on Facebook: A Hidden Threat to Users’ Life Satisfaction?
‘Facebook Envy’ Can Make You Dissatisfied With Life
Are You at Risk of Facebook Envy?
Facebook Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network
Facebook: Lurking, Liking and Life Satisfaction
5 Reasons Why Facebook Can Be Dangerous for People With Depression

On a personal note, I am starting to worry how different social media platforms affect the younger generation of our country. I have always believed that our local Media are making our fellow Filipinos stupid. But with the current trending of influence social media bring, I see more and more Filipinos – both young and old – become more stupid by the day. Most of us can no longer distinguish what’s real from what’s not. Suddenly, everybody becomes an expert of various topics posted online simply because they can easily voice out their belief system.

I have 271 listed friends in my Facebook account as of this writing, at least 10% of which I have not met in person yet. Majority ng 10% na ito ay mga #papeymus at #peymhor (pa-famous and fame whore). What exactly do they want to accomplish? I don’t know. Yung ibang “friends” ko naman, mahilig makiuso sa mga ganap sa Facebook. For those so-called friends who are already married, may mga nauuso ngayon na you will post your photos together with your spouse to show kung gaano ka kasaya sa kanya and then you will need to tag your other friends who are also married so they would do the same. I get it! You want to show us how happy you are with your spouse. So… Are you, really?

May mga katulad pang ganitong pauso like post your most favorite bible verse everyday for the next seven days and tag your friends so they would do the same. What if the one you tagged has a different religious belief? What if the friend you tagged currently has marital issues? Well, that will make you an insensitive prick, don’t you think?

Why do you continuously seek validation from others? Natusok ka ng needle, ipo-post na agad sa Facebook and Twitter. Why? Do you need validation from other people kung gaano ka ka-tanga at nangyari sa iyo ang bagay na ‘yan? Why do you always have to have the need of becoming relevant sa peers and groups that you belong to? Do you need attention ba because you don’t get enough at home or from your loved one?

Unless I’ve known you for someone who always loves to share beautiful things in Life ever since we met, I would think na isa kang papansin and that your life is really sad despite the photos you posted about your happy moments. Pseudo-happiness. It’s actually sadder than the actual sadness.

To the one who is reading my article, I’d like you to know that I am neither bitter in Life nor envious of my so-called friends. If this is how you think of me, I am sorry to say but you are stupid.

Sa mga “tinatamaan” ng article na ito, I would like you to know na hindi mo kailangan ng validation from other people. Be the person who loves to inspire others by making them see that Life is worth living. So starting today, I will stop lurking on my social media accounts. If I were to post photos of myself doing great things in Life or post photos of places I had been to, I will include inspirational messages with it so I can inspire you and the others to stay positive and strong.

Facebook and the other social media platforms are all good innovations that we can leverage to make our world a better place to live in. #bethechange

Previous post

Five Life Lessons I Learned From Finding Nemo

Next post

#RealTalk Episode 1: The Constant Things in Life